All my life I have been acutely aware of one glaring fact…I am not like most other people.
No, I don’t mean in the “I have an extra toe or three” type different, but in the “I have absolutely nothing in common with those people” type of different.
At first I tried to fit in, but nomatter how hard I tried it was apparent that I was just too different. Lets face it, not that many children read books on Business Law and Macro Economics. Not that many people willingly read books on Pythagoras, Theoretical Physics, Quantum Mechanics, Astronomy, Jungian archtypes, and Mechanical Engineering, much less for fun. Even fewer people try to actually understand most of it and the theories involved. Now let me get one thing straight, in no way shape or form do I consider myself a genious <sp?> or prodigy, I’m just somebody who is facinated by those subjects and wants to learn more and understand them.
To say that the typical education system bored me to tears would be a bit of an understatement. Rote and repitition leave me feeling uninspired, uninterested and quite honestly PTFO.
I love finding links between things. The Golden Ratio, Sacred Geometry, Atomic structure and the structure of matter, The hows and whys of the universe. These things facinate me. Thought experiments are my daily bread and butter, they keep me sane.
Can Schrodinger’s famous thought experiment be used to explain god? Are there an infinate number of dimentions and time lines with an infinate number of dieties and non dieties? Can an infinate, omnipotant and omnissiant being exist in one dimention or timeline but not another? I want to open the box, but am very aware that doing so will change and limit the outcome.
I can imagine an infinate number of timelines and dimentions all entertwined and linked in an infinate number of variables, all in three dimentions.
Quite honestly, I’m not sure that I understand societies mores and taboos. Oh, some stuff makes pretty obvious sense, as, in order for people to live together with other humans, without being in a constant state of hostility or war, they are necessary. So mostly the big stuff. Then of course for every single example that I could point to I can also point out at least one religion that has exceptions for it, and in many cases not only allows it but condones and even REQUIRES it. Then of course there are governments that basically do whatever the hell that they want, when they want with no repercussions.
So if societal mores and taboos are so necessary, then why do we seem so willing to accept thier being broken by a self chosen few, but not everybody else? Obviously society values some people over others. The thing that bothers me is that there seems to be no single hard and fast rule as to what makes one person worth more to society than another. Intelligence,wealth, beauty, work, results, manners…..not one single consistancy!
Something that keeps me awake at night and pondering throughout the day….I am reasonably sure that I exist, at least in my own universe. I think therefore I am….
However, I cannot prove beyond the shadow of a doubt, the existance of other people. Yes, I see them, yes I interact with them, but are they merely a dream, a figmant of my imagination? I interact with my dreams at night….sometimes I influance them, other times they go on despite my protestations.Sometimes my dreams are passive, other times agressive.
Is life merely a manifestation of my consious mind? My subconscious become tangable for my conscious mind? Is a part of me sitting right now in some otherwoldly purgatory directing my body and it movements? Are you dear reader sitting beside my otherself or perhaps down the table from me in this spiritual pergatory, directing Your body?
What REALLY is life? What makes humans different from animals? Does a soul exist? If so, what is it made of? Why can’t we measure and quantify it? Is it made of atoms? Dark matter? Magnetic fields? Some as of yet undiscovered thing?
The human brain is a great flawed computer. We self edit it, We misremember things, we flat out lie to ourselves. Our brain can be influanced by a simple magnetic field to “feel” things. Our brains play tricks on us all the time, sometimes at our own behest. We intake chemicals and toxins specifically for thier effects on our brains. Alchohol, marijuanna, pep pills, energy drinks, caffine, tobbaco, pain pills (including asprin/tylenol) other drugs bothlegal and illegal, all change the chemical makeup of our brains. How then is the human brain such a great thing?
Quite frankly I think that a great majority of humans are a waste of oxygen. With billions of years of evolution….this is as far as we have gotten? The vast majority of humans go about thier daily lives blissfully ignorant of the universe surrounding them and never question ANYTHING. Not even the things that effect thier very lives. They eat, sleep, work fuck….then get up the next day and do it all over again, without ever asking, Is this all that there is? Is there more? Why are we here? Is our very existance just a great cosmic joke? A cosmic fart? Is life merely eating,sleeping, working and fucking?
Quite frankly I feel that the argument that we exist for the pleasure and glory of some diety to be a huge insult to me. Why would some great cosmic cheeseburger want to create us just to worship and glorify themselves? And if they did, why would I WANT to cater to an obviously unstable mind like that? Does god have a ego problem? I venture that any psychiatrist presented with THAT argument would say that he/she does.
Are we merely some experiment gone awry? Is the universe sitting in some giant diety’s test tube or petri dish? Are we a giant cosmic ant farm?
Is there some great purpose in the universe? Is there some great purpose in life? Not just My life, but life in general. Am I supposed to learn something, and if so, what is the big secret? Why not just TELL me? What is my motivation? What is my reward for being a good little creation and not rebelling or remaining blissfully ignorant? It better be something good, and not some otherworldy utopia that I am forced to share with the sleeping, brain numb sheeple. I think that I would rather spend eternity exploring black holes, the nucleus of atoms and trying to reach the end of an expanding universe…..by myself, no cosmic soul universe tour group, though I might just wear sandels and white socks with bermuda shorts and a nice polo while I do it, because that’s how I roll.
~*”I would like to share with you a revelation that I’ve had, durring my time here, It came to me when I tried to classify your species, and I realized that you are not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops an equalibrium with the surrounding environment.But you humans do not.You move to an area and you multiply, and you multiply until every resourse is consumed. The only way that you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus.Human beings are a disease, a cancer on this planet, you are a plague.And we….are the cure”*~ Agent Smith.
~*”And crawling on the plant’s face, some insects called the human race, lost in time and lost in space…..and meaning.”*~ A criminologist
When you look at and begin to understand the concept of infinity (see previous post), wouldn’t infinity it’s self infact BE Hell? Yeah the first billion years or so might seem quite nice, possibly even the first few trillion years, but I’m guessing that somewhere after that it might begin to get a tad boring. Boring x infinity =HELL