I thought that I had already mailed that or “I really gotta get my **** together”

So I was going through some of my “mail” (read never finished or never posted thoughts) and came of with a few that I might post over the next little bit of time. As always, take everything in this post with a fist full of salt. I was just using it as a mental and writing exercise, but it does did into some real unusual territory, so if at any time you start to get angry…GO AWAY! I don’t want to hear it!

So as they say in showbiz…And AWAY WE GO!!!

Warrior or Threat?                                                                                                                        Cop-killer on the run declares war on LAPD                                                                          Chris Dorner Causes Police  State  Crackdown                                                                   Official Christopher Rambo Dorner Story                                                                                       Cops Believe Ex-Cop Christopher Dorner Never Left Cabin                                                Chris Dorner Torched Waco Style?

*note the last two headlines came after this was initially written, and to be honest, I have edited some, for spelling, punctuation and overall good grammar and flow of words, not to mention formatting these things which has occasionally  taken as long or longer than it did to write the whole thing in the first place, and which seems to be an ongoing experiment in frustration as evidenced in the formatting above…*sigh*. Not to mention the fact that I often do this with one hand, just because I’m lazy or something, and I frequently experience “FatFinger-itis” . Though it is still pretty much as it was in it’s original form. You see the point is…HAN SHOT FIRST!

Just a few of the many headlines and articles that have been barraging the American public over the past week about this person. Unlike most news subjects, this one actually got my attention. I mean lets face it, Yes, I saw the OJ white bronco police chase…..but only because it interupted star trek. Along with most of the “News” of the last 4 decades , I have a tendency to “miss” most celebrity ….well…anything….honestly I could give a shit about Kim Kardasian’s brother’s girlfriend’s dog’s psychic, and what she says. But this one is/was differant. You see, I actually know enough about this one to comment.

Chris, I understand, really I do. You have NO idea how much I understand and even empathise with you. That being said….Ya fucked up dude….screwed the pooch….ever heard the saying “Revenge is a dish best served cold”?….That goes for the planning too, dude!…First thing that you needed to have done is have a goal…a single, reachable goal…and let’s keep things proportionate now shall we? Yes they did illegal things…and I know that it feels as if they have stolen everything from you, but you ARE alive and breathing (or you were at this point). Now, I’ve always believed that if somebody tries to shoot you, then you should shoot them right back, it is only proper etiquite after all, but your case gives pause. As far as I have read, none of them have ever tried to kill you, though I admit that if one of them left ME dangling in that “Serpico second” I consider that attempted murder so, there is that. I personally would hunt a coward like that down and relish every hour that it took his ass to die under my ministrations.

Another thing……family…leave them the hell alone! Jesus F*CKING CHRIST! Have you done NO research? Do you know NOTHING of public sentiment? Okay, let’s look at this logically alright?  The Woman that you shot and killed…she was 28 yo, that means that in 2008 when all of this occured, she was 24…probably no longer living under her father’s roof and unaware of the minutia of his work life. I know, you want to hurt her father just like he did to you…the problem is #1 he didn’t shoot your mother and sister and #2 along with him you are punishing her for what HE did to you. OH, and her boyfriend…just totally out of the question! seriously, the only way that he was involved is because YOU fucking shot him! You are NOW offically a “Bad Guy”. FOCUS!!!

Look, It is quite obvious to me that you haven’t studied ANY of the public reaction to any mention of “innocents” during the Ruby Ridge, Waco, Oklahoma City Federal building, or any of a hundred such headlines.  Public opinion is pretty unanimous, “innocents” are to be left alone. Taking hostages=bad, shooting hostages=worse, blowing up innocents and/or dropping buildings on them=totally unfuckingacceptable! shooting at a perp’s car with hostages inside=bad, shooting at matronly asian women while they deliver their morning paper route=worse. Let THEM piss off the public stupid! you know that they won’t be able to help themselves with this one…it would just be “them being themselves” only in the NATIONAL Public eye as opposed to merely local public eye. BTW “accidentally” burning down yet one more house under seige by “Government Law Enforcement Units”=totally unfuckingacceptable on a scale of so fucked up that it deserves everybody’s attention. As does shooting in the head,  an unarmed woman holding a baby…

Now, you need to communicate your thoughts …in LESS than 200 pages please! Can somebody PLEASE tell me why every unibomber/zodiac/BTK/”Righter of Social Wrongs” thinks that the world needs 200 pages of their drivel! If you absolutely MUST have those 200 pages, do us all a favor then and make them usefull by cataloging alphabetically by person, then chrologically by date, each incident, use a seperate page for any commentary. Double spaced please….my eyesight isn’t what it used to be. Make it your “big ole” end of shift report. Preferably something easily read and understood by a District Attorney.

Okay, so next let’s start planning….first off, be honest about your abilities. You were Naval Intelligence in a reserve unit. Being former Military Intelligence with an Active US Army unit that worked daily with your active duty Navy Intel buddies, that doesn’t impress me much. Probably half of my roomates over an 8 year period had a TS/SCI so what?  A career in intelligence rarely (with a few notable exceptions, and I can introduce you to a couple of real ones of those if you would like…) leads one to aquire a varied spectrum of combat and survival skills.  More on the order of “I never received an UNSATISFACTORY on any day or week.” (your quote)  The same can be said within the U.S. Naval Reserves. “All commanders will state that my report writing was always clear, concise, and impeccable. Even search my AAR (after action reports),chits, Memorandum’s, IIR’s (Intelligence Information Reports) which were written in the Navy. All were pristine.” (again your quote) …yeah that. Soooo ecencially you do good paperwork…nice.   Oh, and I wouldn’t brag about your “marksman”ship skills either. In the Army, somebody who qualifies as “Marksman” hits just over half of what they aim at….23-26/40 and nothing any soldier in his right mind would brag about unless he also added something about the worst hangover of his life and not being able to see anything past 100 meters through his black eye…and possibly a bent barrel as well. At least your 9mm score was decent…for a squid. All that being said…Why did you give them a copy of your supposed loadout? Your OPSEC and HUMINT sucks! And why even mention the manpads? Were you actually trying to get the military involved? Sorry, but they can’t…FBI, ATF and the National Gaurd can though, and we all know how they operate *cough*Ruby Ridge*cough cough*Waco……you chose…unwisely. Good job on that bragging about how intelligent, educated, well trained in tactics, in psyops, in combat arms, in unconventional warfare, ect ect ect…now I’m guaranteed to do my best to kill you, before you come and get me, and I can quite reasonably request and get just about any dammed piece of equiptment, arms, munitions, radios, National Guard, air cover (they can deal with the SA-7 Manpads), FBI/ATF/Homeland Security/Park Service/county/city/state police/and the fucking Game Warden…who knows maybe even the BLM and the National Gaurd….re-enact that scene out of Rambo….only this time there is no Colonel Trautman, “the only one who may be able to stop the terrible fate awaiting everyone involved”…..All because YOU bragged!! REAL F*CKING SMART IDIOT!!!

So now that you have effectively pissed in everybody’s wheaties…what are you going to do? Well what exactly is your goal here? Is it the physical death of each and every officer that you feel wronged you? If so, the answer is easy, go undercover…hide in plain sight, maybe a few well placed sniped shots…a couple of up close and personal, maybe a “Hi John” *Bang*BANG*BANG*BANG*BANG*BANG* “Bye John”…or the uber creepy…junior partner gets out to get coffee, comes back to find his senior partner dead with a slit throat…

You DON’T call in to radio talk shows! BUT IF YOU DO…different shows, differant stations each time please, oh and hey you could even vary Am vs Fm…or even *gasp* serius Satalite Radio….maybe Howard Stern or Don Imus and call from different places each time please…I’m sure that you have NO IDEA, though you should, just how easy it is to trace somebody nowadays. Forget that 2 and three minute crap…think 30 seconds or less given the correct equiptment. If I were to actually go thru the Telephone company computers….I could know exactly where you are, before the Radio show ‘s phone even rings once! The point is to get out YOUR message,to as large a media base as possible,  and possibly even a little bit of false information for the police (even better if you can get away with only “insinuating” it, and letting them draw their own conclusions. Trust me, the human mind will often go much farther than most people could even imagine, when allowed or lightly encouraged. It’s why pornography works…fantasy …imagination…because you and I both know that there is no way on Earth that you would have half a snowball’s chance in hell of ever going out with the object of your most recent masterbatory fantasy much less actually engaging in coitus.

Well, I’m not quite sure exactly what you accomplished by running up into the hills. In the city it was the police and you hiding among a few million citizens….in the hills it’s the police…and you…You are a big black man in a ski resort area, which i’m guessing to be a “predomonantly white neighborhood”  great if you happen to have an old abandoned hidden mine shaft that also comes out just down the street from the evil sherrif’s office. Well do you? In fact, just how much do you know about the part of the country that you ran to? I don’t mean forests in general either, although you should have some pretty good woodsmanship skills as well, No I mean Big Bear specifically. Are there caves? Abandoned mines? Some place to fucking hide and hole up a while? that is defensable? does it give a good view of the surrounding terrain? Do you have a place to store provisions? a backup ? that is secure? Food, Weapons and ammunition, Television/radio/internet media center/maps/Water/First Aid/……you should be able to hole up for about a week in each bunker/safe house, before needing to leave it. Btw…had you thought of alternate transportation? car,truck, atv, paraglider, canoe, snow cat, any fucking thing? Really, $5,000 and you could get a pilot’s license, $50.00 and you can get microsoft flight simulator which I understand has some pretty accurate graphics but is shite on landing. (tasteless jab, I know), the point being that aircraft are not that awfully difficult to hot wire and if you know what you are doing and have cased out your alternate vehicles ahead of time, it could be a couple of weeks before it is discovered missing.  For about half that amount you could be an owner operater of your very own paraglider…or perhaps ultralite aircraft…While your average tractor trailer is no speed demon, neither are they looked at that particularly hard when it comes to something that  insane ex cop would try to escape in…Though I do note that California police seemed to be checking there first, at least the back of the trucks…perhaps previous experiance?…anyway, if one chooses correctly you could get one of these for at least a couple of days… Okay, drop phones….tell me that you have about ten of them…right? Ham? CB? FRS for sanity’s sake? Well at least you have a police scanner right?…..right? …I’m not liking where this is going… Do you mean to tell me that what little you planned this through, what tiny amount of gear you have amassed, your “superiour survival skills” ….when you wrecked your truck you just left it all…seriously why didn’t you at least take the stuff that was “manportable” ? Those Barret’s that you bragged about having would come to mind here, as would an M-60 7.62NATO. or a LAW or an M-16 or that SA-7 Manpads, or that tent, or the fishing supplies or any one of the other hundred of things that might be usefull in this situation….All of it…When your truck crashed, you abandoned and set fire to all of it…great example of not doing well with the decision making under stress.  At the very least, you should have attempted to drag it all off to bury in a cache nearby.

“If you’re really trying to kill all those people, if that’s really your plan, and you’re a great tactician, then you don’t tell people,” said Jim Clemente, a retired behavioral analyst for the FBI. “You don’t tell LAPD in advance so they can put a bunch of bodyguards on people.”  SEE!!! I told you!

Well, I see that you tried to steal a boat and the Pull rope gave you some problems….you were naval reserve, weren’t you? Did you not learn basic seamanship? Are you seeing the irony?  I’m guessing that you did very little preplanning. You could have put a 14ft john boat and engine in the back of your truck for less than a thousand dollars and not had to worry about stealing a boat. It also gives you a whole lot more unpredictability.

Look at this point I think that you are pretty much a lost cause. Just promise me that you won’t hole up in some house. REMEMBER WACO? RUBY RIDGE? They will shoot your ass DEAD and burn you up! The trick is to keep moving as far and as fast as you can AWAY from the police. Whatever…you are an idiot. I’ll bet that you do wind up holed up in somebodies basement. Considering everything else that you have done so far, I figure you to screw up big that way.  You know what? I hope that it is an old retired Veteran’s house and he has a copy of FM 21-76, the S.E.R.E. manual, maybe a S.O.G. manual or two,  a few dozen old war movies like BAT-21, The Great Escape, Destination dawn, and any number of “aircraft down” movies…, maybe the entire “Bear Grillus” series?….ect    ….OH AND A MIRROR! So YOU can see the look on YOUR own face when YOU find out just how ignorant and stupid YOU ARE!

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Granny Panties

Recently in an online news article, “Granny Panties” were touted as the “NEW” Big fashion trend.

My reply though short, did at least, I hope show the general stupidity and ignorance of this statement. It was as follows.

@YAHOO  “Granny panties” are NOT in style. They were NEVER in style. REGARDLESS  of what “fashion designers” and other women haters want us to believe. Women wear them for comfort (so says my wife) not style! Considering that not one of them has put a “Real” ie (proportionately sized for anything other than a stick!) woman up on stage in decades, why should we give one hoot as to what the fashion designers say?

I am just the ~tiniest~ bit frustrated by the fact that I am limited in the size of my post on certain online “NEWS” agencies, but due to my own certain ability to ramble…I understand perfectly…So I have a blog.

“Granny Panties” for those few of you who don’t know, (really? have you been hiding under a rock?) are Women’s “high waist” “brief” style knickers of the type that one might envision the Queen Mum wearing…as a matter of fact, it is the ONLY type that I can or even care to,  envision the Queen Mum wearing.  Originally they were like a Model T Ford. Everybody had them, they came in One color, White, and One fabric, Cotton.  Sure there were a few high end Silk jobs around, but for the everyday girl, White Cotton was it.

Shortly after WWII the new field of synthetic chemistry brought about Lycra, Polyester, Nylon, Rayon and a whole host of a variety of new “stretchy”, “man made” fabrics. None of which breathed quite like cotton, and more than a few of which should be used as artic thermal insulators, which is probably why the US Military uses them as such. It also brought with it a broad range of “NEW and IMPROVED!” fabric dyes that could make any color on Michelangelo’s pallet and then some. Bright Yellows and Greens, Reds of the deepest bloodstained shade or the pink of a Easter flower. Purples fit fir Royalty and the Blues of the deepest Ocean or a lazy, cloudless, Summer sky.

Now I will admit that the feel of silk or even Lycra under my finger tips just plain ole “turns my crank”, but then if my hand is down there, I’m pretty stoked already, so there is that…

Now, I can’t claim to have slept with a whole ton of women, but the few that I have, I have known very well and for a considerable amount of time. Without fail, every single one of them has owned at least ONE set of granny panties and frequently a whole week’s worth. One girlfriend used to use them to hold hot water bottles and later, the chemical heating patches. Usually Cotton, though the color palate has risen substantially since the 1940’s, though for the granny panties at least the pallet has remained in the more muted and pastel range of the color pallet. You will never see a hot pink pair of granny panties with the word “juicy” written across the back.

Granny Panties are in no way a fashion statement. They are meant to be big  and comfortable and most of all…NOT SEEN! It’s kind of like covering the Mona Lisa with a tent. It kind of lets you know that perhaps it’s “Undergoing routine cleaning and maintenance please come back next week and we will gladly accommodate you”.

Next I wish to address “The Fashion World”, that tiny group of celebrated women haters. How else can you explain some of the LAUGHABLE Abominations that walk the runway? Clothes made of wire hoops, hung at odd angles. Hats and Hair larger than your average Kindergartener. Clothes with their own APPENDAGES! And don’t even ask what the cutting edge fashion designers are coming up with to humiliate women with on the “Green” and “RECYCLED” market…Seriously…what every you do, DO NOT GOOGLE “FASHION DESIGNERS AND RECYCLE IMAGES” . I do remember one “au coutereare” (or whatever the French word is for “pompous idiot”) fashion designers that made a dress out of recycled women’s  “feminine hygiene” products…~shudder~ ugh..just UGH!  NO  THANK  YOU  !!!  Seriously, I have dressed less ludicrously while playing the stereotypical used car salesman in skits.  Why don’t you just toss a cork hat on one and…whas tha? you already did that….about 10 years ago…Ooooh I got it! What about Clown Makeup? SERIOUSLY!!! And she did it? I see…well that kind of makes my point doesn’t it?

Can SOMEBODY? ANYBODY. Please explain to me how sending androgynous, animate, sticks and near cadavers down the runway, dressed in your latest female humiliation design, is supposed to entice me to want to see that on ANYBODY, much less somebody that I loved!

To Quote a famous man (Sir Mixalot) “36, 24, 36? Only if she’s 5’3″.”                                      Interestingly enough Marilyn Monroe’s stats are reported as Height: 5 feet 5 1/2 inches   Weight: Varied,   115 – 120 lbs.  Measurements: 37-23-36  (Studio’s Claim);        35-22-35 (Dressmaker’s Claim)

In comparison Twiggy is  5’6″ (167 cm), weighed eight stone (51 kg; 112 lbs) and had a 31-23-32 figure.

And WHY EXACTLY  am I supposed to give one crap if Hannah Montana …oh I’m sorry  *echem*  Miley Cyrus, wants to show her panties in public? Or lady gaga (get better and I’ll start capitalizing it you hack!) ?  I’m not their father. It isn’t my family name being touted as a laughingstock all over television. Soon enough they will all go the way of Max Headroom , Culture Club and Kajagoogoo .

So MY question to the fashion community. After DECADES of parading your LUDICROUSLY AND HILLARIOUSLY  FUNNY  “Designs” up and down the runways, on ANDRODGENOUS, ANEMIC, PALE, SKELETAL (seriously, I’ve seen more meat on returning P.O.W.s) Cocaine and Diet Pill strung out, little more than meat bags of sticks.  Why would I take YOUR advice as to what looks good on ANYBODY, much less a NORMAL sized person, not somebody on the 00 size range!

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The Blow Job

Men are constantly being accused of not being able to find a clitorus or a G-spot if their life depended apon it. What many women do not realize (for the simple reason that no man is going to jepardize his access to female attention of his genitalia of any kind, by complaining or trying to make helpfull suggestions which never seem to get taken in the way that we intended or indeed in the way that any sane human would understand that they could even be taken.  ie “I Really like it when you do THIS” somehow implying that you weren’t enjoying what she was doing before…like that is necessarily a bad thing anyway….look the whole point is that, We really appreciate the time that you are spending “down there” but if you want to really see US clutch the bedsheets and shoot for the moon as it were, if you want to see me get really excited and blow my rocks off like Mt. St Helens I’m telling you to do THIS!!!  It really doesn’t matter if that thing is a finger massage of my prostate or flicking the tip of my glans and urethral opening (meatus) with the tip of your tongue. You think that you like your vibrator!? Try using it on my frenulum and meatus….Don’t know what those are? Then why do you expect me to be able to find your g-spot or A- spot or some other mysterious uncharted location? Try new stuff out….

The clitoris, has 8,000 nerve endings connected with 15,000 nerve fibers in the pelvic area, more than any part in the body. The gland of the penis has 4000 nerve endings, spread out over a much larger area.  The foreskin (For those of you who still have one) has 20000 nerve endings making it 83% of the feeling of the penis.

I’m going to give you gals the benefit of the instructions given to me by what is, without a doubt, the best blow job that I have ever had! She learned it from her gay uncle. I’ve never even met him, but I know that he is making some guy very happy! Step1 scrape your tongue top and bottom against your teeth to roughen it. Step2 curl your tongue backwards slighly so that the underside of his penis will slide in along the underside of your tongue. step3 reverse direction of penis and surface of tongue, so that the underside of the  penis slides out along the roughened upper tongue surface. Step4 you should be gently sucking while his penis is going in and out of your mouth. Step5 Flicking the “lips” of his urethra or sucking on them is a good thing. Step 6 your lips should press firmly against his penis, not like he is fucking a wet rag. you have the ability to make your mouth do way more than your vagina ever could. You can suck soft or hard, or blow hot and cold breaths , you have a tongue that can do oh so many things. You can change the size of it’s opening as well as it’s internal size by use of the tongue. You can use the tip of your tongue like a tiny finger, flicking wherever you wanted to. Remember these two words, Meatus  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/External_urethral_orifice_(male)    and  Frenulum    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frenulum_of_prepuce_of_penis

Just remember this. He wants you to want him and see him as sexually attractive to you, just as much as you want to be seen that way by him. If you want him to pay more attention to you, then you might try paying more attention to him. We know that the penis is not particularly pretty, but it’s all that we have. Besides, it seems to work pretty good hitting all of the places that it needs to…isn’t there beauty in function or something?

Try being a little forward every now and then. Try actually acting like you want and need him physically as well as (insert relationship type) . Nearly every guy that I have asked has had the fantasy of being awakened by a blow job. Having been the recipient of quite a lot of these (the benefits of having a wife that is also your consentual slave.  *consentually given up all future consent*) I can say that it is without a doubt, one of the Best possible ways to be awakened! And BTW a liitle suck and “there I did it, are we done now” doesn’t count as a blowjob. In fact it is just barely worthy of encouraging a repeat performance. Do you wonder why your man insists apon immediate reciprical performance when you ask him to “go down” on you? AKA 69 ing ….    he knows that in the heat of your own excitement you will finally treat his penis as a lover would.

I once dated a girl who was repulsed by the idea of going down on a guy “because that is where he pees from…so gross!” but didn’t feel that the guy likewise should point out the same would apply to her as well as indeed all humans. Of course my primary thought at the time was “girl, if you think a potential drop of pee is so gross, then you are totally unprepared for what I intend to do in your mouth”.

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St Mark’s Letter to the ignorant and bigoted

I was raised in a very Christian household. By very Christian, I mean going to church Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday night (unless there was a revival going on,
then your weeknights were shot until it was over, usually about a week).

I mean that  I was read bible stories at bedtime from birth until I was about age 5. Last night while on a mission to the forbidden lands of storage under my Model Rail Road Layout (which I am incidentally  considering doing a total revamp of) “In Search Of” a couple of books for the recent research the I was doing as well as an old soldier’s manual I tore through over 16 boxes looking at books and pulling out the very few that I thought that would apply or that I simply wanted “close at hand”. The end count was around 20….still no soldier’s manual to speak of. I had gone through every box no matter the subjects and titles listed on the boxes. Science? well soldiering is a bit of a science and it has it’s rules and own psychology that apparently works pretty good…so why not? I also knew something else…I had used “filler books” to make up for wasted space and provide a tighter pack. And since the military has been around for so long, been so ingrained in out history and sciences, and covers so wide a group of topics…almost any box could contain the aforementioned book. It was while investigating the box that merely said Bibles, that I found “IT”…What is “IT” you ask? “IT” was simply the very first piece of my very early indoctrination. “The Child’s Story Bible by Catherine F. Vos” 1961 edition {first copyrighted in 1935}”.  Surprisingly well written.
I mean that at age three my mother asked me to accept christ into my life and at age 5 I tried to be baptised, but was put off until age 8.
I mean that in my teens both of my parents were ordained as ministers, so that my father could “finally” quit his civil service job 6 months before retirement, and take his “dream job” of working for a missionary organization (one that broke their word and dumped him after getting a full year of free labor and experiance out of him).
I mean that until the age of 20 or so, I “felt led” to become a missionary bush pilot and actually trained and got my pilot’s license for that purpose and was working on several more ratings to go along with it. We had several family friends who were missionaries in Jordan and Zimbabwe, and later a couple in Nepal.

In my 10th year of school I actually asked my parents to send me to a private “Christian” High School, thinking somehow that
it would be more “Spiritual” and “Christian”. I was wrong, badly so. That is around the time that my parents changed from Baptists to non denominational Pentecostals. The whole “laying on of hands”, faith healing, speaking in tongues, being “slain in the spirit” ect…

Yep, I was pretty thoroughly indoctrinated. Yet, even at a young age I still had questions. I still saw many areas of the bible that I felt did not completely jive with what I was being told in church. I tried asking serious questions. Almost every single time, without fail I was either rebuked or was given a demonstrably flimsy answer, though mostly it was being rebuked for the “sin of doubting”, which is kind of ironic, because I didn’t actually have any real doubts about “GOD”, merely questions about the how and whys. What was I not seeing? What was I not comprehending?

While I had been exposed to evolutionary theory, it was a very watered down and simplified version. Such is the sad state of the American educational system, sadly.

Sometime in my early twenties, I figured out that Christianity was not for me. If for no other reason, than because a great deal of scriptures contradicted each other and no preacher or christian
scholar wanted to face that fact (especially when you ask them directly, they get ~very~ upset and even become hostile towards you).
I tried several different religions, Paganism, Judaism, Wicca, studied Taoism and Buddhism…anything that I could get my hands on. Yet I still kept my “Christian” costume in my closet pulling it out when the need suited me. Mostly because it was the one most recognizable by the general population.  Eventually I gave up on religion as I kept seeing, not only hypocrisy and religious leaders constant lying, but I could not in my own mind justify my stated beliefs due to a complete lack of evidence.

I believe that it was Carl Sagan’s Cosmos (a video series that I remembered fondly from my youth, and which upset my mother’s religious views greatly) which first led me to seriously question the existence of a god. Science bless that man!

In the last year, I began to re-watch the series again and again. Then I began to investigate more and more. I retaught myself how to use my long dormant critical thinking abilities, and to ask questions and honestly seek the answers once again. I started watching every single science program that I could find. I watched The Atheist Experience on You Tube, and was hooked. For the FIRST time I was hearing the REAL scientific rebuttals to creationists claims and not just the Strawman arguments that creationists and preachers pull out of their theological ass, and CLAIM that evolutionists and scientists believe. I heard the rebuttals to the christian/creationist arguments. I had heard those arguments so many times before that I could almost quote them by heart (although I have to admit that Kirk Cameron’s “crockaduck” argument was new and even I when I was a christian would have called it crazy) I had even used them in
my secondary school papers, though I knew in my heart at the time that I was doing so, that I was being untruthful, and that the evidence pointed towards evolution. I knew that I have written it from a biased and totally unscientifically founded presupposition.
It was the common or rather a combination of the most obvious Christian presuppositions of course. #1 being of course the presupposition that there EVEN IS a god in the first place, without showing scientific evidence to back up your claim. #2Was That the Bible, the book that I held in my hand, or the many that sat on my desk at home, had somehow, through the many generations, the the several councils of Niccea, the many translations, managed to remain unaltered and accurate.
I think that my upbringing is what kept me from admitting that I was in reality an atheist/evolutionist far sooner. The truly funny thing is that while my wife insisted that we take my stepson to church about 8 years ago,( and we did), she could see that my heart
was not really in it, and that during the sermons, my mind was constantly thinking of the counter arguments and contradictions (perhaps it was because every time the preacher said one thing from the bible, I was turning to another passage that was saying the exact opposite and constantly writing notes with plenty of questions, for myself) I even, on more than one occasion, corrected the pastor’s interperatations of a Greek or Hebrew word.

I am far more educated in both, than the vast majority of American preachers, who often never even study either in seminary.

lol when I say that I studied Judaism, I should have said EMERSED myself in it, even to the point of almost converting. So my Hebrew is pretty good (if a bit rusty) and my ancient Greek isn’t bad either (the benefits of a year in a private christian high school, and the anticipation of possibly needing it for the seminary degree that I had just found out that the two biggest Missionary groups supporting over 90% of the  pilots and aircraft, flying in the mission field, would require of me, JUST TO FLY IN SUPPLIES AND MEDICAL STUFF!!! Now I want to say that BOTH of these “missionary” groups wanted me to have…a Commercial and Instrument pilot’s rating, preferably (as in  “Get one!) with a Multi-Engine rating. Those with Helicopter experience will not be turned down! So far not too awful bad right? Nothing unexpected. It is the law after all.

Next they wanted me to have Aircraft mechanic certificates of the Airframe and Power plant as well as preferably your Avionics certificates as well. About 4-6 years worth of schooling and OJT…Without the Avionics certificate. Yeah, tell me how mechanics are “too stupid to do anything else”, one more time.

I’m guessing that I’m just supposed to slip a 4 year theology degree in while I’m busy not sleeping huh?!

All for the ~Pleasure~ of getting to spend a full year and every fourth year hereafter, drumming up your own paycheck (which gets doled out to you by the missionary group funding you on a “as WE think that you should get it” basis, for the “privilege” of sweating your ass off flying over (and quite possibly being shot at…) and working in the jungles of some Third World armpit of a nation…for next 3+ years. All to help those who are supposedly helping the indigenous populous, by bringing them food, medicine, education, CLOTHES BY GOD! We need to cover up those naked heathens! Who cares if it’s 120+ F with 99 3/4% humidity? I want to see clothes on these people NOW!  Disgusting, absolutely disgusting! GOD! These Heathens need GOD NOW! How can we plan on breaking ground on the new seminary building next fall if we can’t even get clothes on these people now? And for God’s sake…Teach them some English, who knows if they get good enough, we might let them work as maids and gardeners in our homes once we drag civilization out to this hellhole.

I’m not really bitter with religion as a whole, though willfull ignorance does make me angry, as does passing on on your ignorance in the guise of “Teaching”. And taking advantage of the elderly, feeble, frail and scared senior citizens for their social security check, is just RIGHT OUT!…ORAL… As is the Sexual Abuse of children! and Protestants, I can assure you that you and your clergy are not immune from this. I know more than one victim of Sexual Abuse and even rape and attempted rape by Pastors, a “Minister of Music, more than one “Youth Minister”, and several “Deacons and/or Elders”, as well as several “Nursery Aids/workers” and at least one “Sunday School Teacher”. Not to mention the “Statutory Rape” through the seduction of A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL!!! By using the “God wants us to” argument and some really messed up cherry picking out of Revelations to show her that “Your” Baby would be the one that stopped the Anti-Christ. Did you really suggest naming him “John Conner”? Was she OLD enough to even GET the reference?

Mostly though I don’t care what individual people believe in, as long as they can keep it to themselves and not try to use it to influence science, education and things that are for the public good.

For instance, if somebody is against socialized medicine because our government has an appalling track record with it’s few socialized health care attempts (it really does, Oy Vay does it have problems! It is so bad that I can name that collosal blunder in TWO Letters…V.A. ), I can understand that and we can work together to craft a better system, or find a different solution.

If however you are against it on religious grounds ie you believe
that it will somehow lead to a one world government led by Satan and his Anti-Christ, and bring about the apocalypse…Then you
probably aren’t even willing to try and find some sort of solution.

I want to know answers and am willing to follow the evidence wherever it leads. If scientists made some great discovery tomorrow and a large number of them said “Hey we were wrong, it turns out that the Earth WAS created out of nothing and everything
sprang into being all at once, and here is our evidence………” Then , though skeptical, I would look at and follow the evidence, after of course, testing it myself.
Granted, at this point the evidence would have to be pretty overwhelming, for scientists to make that statement.

One thing that my time in the military has taught me is that people from all kinds of backgrounds with all kinds of beliefs, and even all kinds of sexual orientations,  CAN get along and work together for the common good. They just need to be able to have a common goal and the willingness to put aside differences (or at least percieved
differences) . I have worked with people of all races, religions, and every conceivable variable within those religions, people of all different socio economic and educational backgrounds, and people of every conceivable sexual orientation, with not a single one of
those things ever being an issue.

(Although admittedly when I worked in close quarters with 10
women for several years, things used to get ~pretty tense~ for one week a month…:-))

I Know Many Gay and Lesbian couples, and I don’t see any difference in the love shared between them and that of any random long term Heterosexual couple. Nor between them and any typical Christian couple. If your major complaint is that “The God of YOUR Bible, says that’s it’s wrong”….My argument is simply that “Just as we should not bow to pressure to enact Sharia Law for any interaction concerning Muslim people, NEITHER should we
blindly accept the Laws of YOUR particular Stone Aged goat herder religion, NOR ANY others!  You see, Our First Amendment to our constitution, protects YOU,  from others enforcing their religion, just as it protects others from you pushing yours on them.

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God’s Zombie Army

God’s Zombie Army

First off let me say, *echem* If you are of the type that likes to read way more into things than is actually there, or somehow is able to make the odd connection between UFO sightings and supposed Angelic sightings, miracles, and “Acts of God”…..GO AWAY! I don’t want to hear it….Seriously, I mean, I AM *hehe* (I Am because I Am…it’s as simple as that, and now those of you in the next category can go ahead and take out your pencils…this is going to be a looooong night for you) the actual Author here, so I think that I know what I meant when I wrote it, and while I have been known to subtly smack one upside the subconscious…or the ego (that’s always a fun one…anyway, I digress) ANYWAY…, use a little discretion please…and perhaps a fist full of salt…
Secondly, if you are the type to get easily offended…*blink*blink*…really? Why did you even read past the title? You KNOW that this is going to piss you off. Oh sure, you might call it rightous indignation or somesuch but let’s be honest, brutally…*says the sadist*…I’m going to write some shit that is going to point out some totally  silly, “just wrong” shit that is in the xian bible and the WTF? interpretations that are given to them, and it’s going to force you to either face some unpleasant facts or what is most likely (because this shit IS pissing you off after all),to try and ignore or discount them, even though you secretly know that they are provable and true. You may even try and tell yourself that it is “your duty as a good christian” to read this so that you may warn others of it or so that you can “pray for the author”… or whatever…look you can make up any excuse that you want, but you have to face the fact that you willingly read it, so now GROW UP and DEAL with it.

Ezekiel 37…..

Okay first off, seriously? Using ANYTHING out of Ezekiel as an example of a coherant and reliable prediction is almost…sorry *IS* laughable. Have you even READ Ezekiel? I’ve seen more coherant shit at a Grateful Dead concert. I’m pretty sure that THAT guy was “trippin balls” when he wrote half of this shit. There is really no other explaination for it, because presumably any deity with enough power to create an entire universe would have absolutely no problem in communicating his message in a intelligable and easily understandable manner leaving absolutely no doubt that this was an official “Prophesy of God. It should be instead, impossible for it, “THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE AND ALL THAT IS WITHIN IT, THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE YUD HEY VAV HEY, THE TETRAGRAMATON, THE IMPRONOUNCaBLE (but you xians sure try now anyway don’t you, just made up your own name and everything….) AKA JEHOVAH (even though Hebrew doesn’t have a “J” sound anywhere in it…Christians…)” EL, Elohim, Adonai, not to mention that according to Jewish mystisism Any combinations of the letters YHVH and vowels and the entire pentetuch.. to say ANYTHING AT ALL and NOT be COMPLETELY AND UNEQUIVICALLY understood . In fact, just to be safe he could follow the standard practice of journalist everywhere and answer 6 basic questions…hell, he could even add a seventh if he believed in that “evil number” crap…the six basic questions are Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How. You know, if your “God” could give me just that most basic of information without having to fudge on the specifics…Most “psychics”, “card/palm/tea leaf/chicken,goat,pig, dove,ect innard / readers” politicians, stockbrokers and other modern day soothsayers can do MUCH better, seriously…one word…”Timeshare” …seriously, why would any thinking person buy one? The answer is that they wouldn’t. The broker soothsayer has charmed them into it by talking alot while saying absolutely nothing of value. Much like Ezekiel. I’m pretty sure that the Oracle of Delfi was less obtuse than Ezekiel, and I’m SURE that even Steven King couldn’t make up some of the completely *fucked up* shit that Ezekiel does. Look even as alagorys and bad descriptions they completely fail. You can try and make up whatever explainations that you want, but “great, spinning, wheels in the sky with the head of a lion, a goat a sheep and a dragon are NOT an accurate or even intelligable description of ANYTHING!!!!! You can try and use all the apologetics that you want, but we all know that you are just pulling shit out of your theological ass.  Ezekiel was a Hash Head…or maybe an Ergot eater…whichever, there is NO WAY that he wasn’t on something when he dreamed/prophesied all of this shit.

Okay on to chapter 37….

“37 The hand of the Lord came upon me and brought me out in the Spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley; and it was full of bones.

*okay, so God pulled his soul out of his body and  took him to a big valley full of dry bones.*

2 Then He caused me to pass by them all around, and behold, there were very many in the open valley; and indeed they were very dry.

*Okay, the first part seems pretty straight forward, god made him “walk/fly/ whatever…all around the bones. There were a lot of bones and we get it, they were dry….*

3 And He said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?
So I answered, “O Lord God, You know.”

*Hey, I’m not getting MYSELF into any trouble here. ….*

4 Again He said to me, “Prophesy to these bones, and say to them, ‘O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!

*AGAIN? When did he ever tell me to do it the first time? Now I ask you…Look up above and tell me that I’m not crazy…Did he EVER? say that before? Or is ONE of us getting Alzheimer’s a bit early???*

*Apparently the bones weren’t dry enough that their auditory system was non functional and their Tympanic bones were still attached*

5 Thus says the Lord God to these bones: “Surely I will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live. 6 I will put sinews on you and bring flesh upon you, cover you with skin and put breath in you; and you shall live. Then you shall know that I am the Lord.”’”

*You shall Live, LIVE!!!! Rise up my Zombie Army!!!  MUHAHAHA   MUHAHAHAHAHAhaha….er excuse me…*

7 So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and suddenly a rattling; and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 Indeed, as I looked, the sinews and the flesh came upon them, and the skin covered them over; but there was no breath in them.

*So I did what I was told, because you never know, the big guy might just be able to pull this off and then wouldn’t I feel stupid running from a pissed off God’s zombie army…then suddenly shit started getting weird, I mean Really weird like Indiana Jones and the Lost Arc weird! only in reverse!*

9 Also He said to me, “Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live.”’” 10 So I prophesied as He commanded me, and breath came into them, and they lived, and stood upon their feet, an exceedingly great army.

*OOKAAYY…I’m prophesying to “THE  Breath”, what ever the hell THAT is…perhaps he means the Ruach Ha Kodesh…Aka the Holy Spirit or Shechina…maybe, though apparently it comes from “The Four Winds”…deities in their own right at this time. *HOLY CRAP*!!!! Time to RUUUNNN!!!! There are a shit ton of them!!! well, at least, I only have to run faster than YOU…*

11 Then He said to me, “Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They indeed say, ‘Our bones are dry, our hope is lost, and we ourselves are cut off!’

*okay, so apparently this is just an allegory?*

12 Therefore prophesy and say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Behold, O My people, I will open your graves and cause you to come up from your graves, and bring you into the land of Israel.

*or not…which is it?*

13 Then you shall know that I am the Lord, when I have opened your graves, O My people, and brought you up from your graves. 14 I will put My Spirit in you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken it and performed it,” says the Lord.’”
One Kingdom, One King

*(Again with the grave opening and re-animation of the dead…..*

15 Again the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 16 “As for you, son of man, take a stick for yourself and write on it: ‘For Judah and for the children of Israel, his companions.’ Then take another stick and write on it, ‘For Joseph, the stick of Ephraim, and for all the house of Israel, his companions.’ 17 Then join them one to another for yourself into one stick, and they will become one in your hand.

*OOH a magic show…Have you seen The Amazing Randy?*

18 “And when the children of your people speak to you, saying, ‘Will you not show us what you mean by these?’— 19 say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Surely I will take the stick of Joseph, which is in the hand of Ephraim, and the tribes of Israel, his companions; and I will join them with it, with the stick of Judah, and make them one stick, and they will be one in My hand.”’ 20 And the sticks on which you write will be in your hand before their eyes.

*is that all you do is join sticks? I saw Randy chop off Alice Cooper’s Head and then Alice played the next song. The Amazing Randy is WAY better*

21 “Then say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Surely I will take the children of Israel from among the nations, wherever they have gone, and will gather them from every side and bring them into their own land;

*Hey, come on, Babe
Follow me, I’m the Pied Piper
Follow me, I’m the Pied Piper
And I’ll show you where it’s at
Come on, Babe
Can’t you see, I’m the Pied Piper
Trust in me, I’m the Pied Piper
And I’ll show you where it’s at*

*okay, I’m getting pretty tired of PWNing the Bible, It’s just TOO fucking EASY! it stops getting fun after a bit…*

22 and I will make them one nation in the land, on the mountains of Israel; and one king shall be king over them all; they shall no longer be two nations, nor shall they ever be divided into two kingdoms again.

*apparently being driven into diaspora doesn’t count? This Obviously can’t mean in our time, because we have a Knesset not a King…Kings can *SNAP* their finger and make new policy…That is bad for the perceived political stability of a country as well as it’s people. Committees on the other hand, by their very nature, do NOT act fast on virtually anything outside of adjourning for lunch, and they RARELY, make sudden movements as concerns Major Issues  without plenty of meetings and sub-committees, discussions, Power point displays, Expert Witnesses, Celebrity “Testimony” ect…

23 They shall not defile themselves anymore with their idols, nor with their detestable things, nor with any of their transgressions; but I will deliver them from all their dwelling places in which they have sinned, and will cleanse them. Then they shall be My people, and I will be their God.

24 “David My servant shall be king over them, and they shall all have one shepherd; they shall also walk in My judgments and observe My statutes, and do them. 25 Then they shall dwell in the land that I have given to Jacob My servant, where your fathers dwelt; and they shall dwell there, they, their children, and their children’s children, forever; (*DIIIAASSSPPORRAA*) and My servant David shall be their prince forever (*until his death in 1 Kings 2 apparently*) . 26 Moreover I will make a covenant of peace with them, and it shall be an everlasting covenant with them; I will establish them and multiply them, and I will set My sanctuary in their midst forevermore (Google “Dome of The Rock”  and tell me if YOU see a problem? just saying…) . 27 My tabernacle also shall be with them; indeed I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 28 The nations also will know that I, the Lord, sanctify Israel, when My sanctuary is in their midst forevermore.”’

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It’s not that I ‘m against religion. It is that I don’t believe that the rules for your LARP should mean a damned thing for those of us who choose not to have imaginary friends and use that as a basis for a system of government.  I mean you might as well use strange women, lying in ponds and distributing swords as a basis for a system of government.

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Just asking…

Does anybody else find it ironic that Churches and cemeteries are frequently connected….AND that in Matthew 8:22…But Jesus said unto him, “Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead”.  and in Luke 9:59-60 To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” 60 And Jesus  said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”  ~um…wouldn’t this essentially mean that Churches are for the “Spiritually Dead”?  I mean what he is telling the guy is “leave everything, your family, your community, your synagogue/church and actually follow me like some sort of “Deadhead” following the “Grateful Dead” from concert to concert. “Hey, We’ll go hang out with my buddy in Capernaum for a few  days. I’m sure he’ll let us crash at his place. We’ll party like it’s 99BM (before Me) and let everybody know that it’s all gonna end soon.”  

Hey Mom and Dad…bet you’re hating that you filled me so full of the bible NOW! You see, I might not have an eidetic memory so maybe I can’t remember the verse number, but I remember the verse, probably a whole lot better than most people. Which BTW is where more than a total shit-ton of my cognitive dissonance comes from…Because where the bible contradicts itself  (oh and it does that lots, more so in fact than not) “I” keep remembering BOTH scriptures….and I can google. Believe it or not, most of my help comes from christian bible study type websites.

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